So I’ve been on a Wordsworth kick lately in my (scarce) spare time when I decide to read rather than throw in another workout. Tonight while reading through “Lines written a few miles above Tintern Abbey,” I was struck by a significant parallel to my own experience in the outdoors, the natural world, and its ability to heal us when we’ve been cut deep.
I remember running around Chino hills as a boy. Often, between whatever legal or illegal (mostly the latter) activities my friends and I were carrying out, I would find myself reflecting on the mystery of this little “urban backcountry,” and felt probably something like one of Wordsworth’s other poetic creations- the pedlar. To him “Even the loose stones that cover the highway,/ he gave moral life, he saw them feel,/ Or linked them to some feeling.” Man, Mr. Wordsworth, you might be dead, rotted and hollowed to oblivion by maggots, but you had your finger on the pulse of some ubiquitous youthful sentiments! What’s a freakin’ downer about Chino Hills is that its ability to inspire wonder and youthful optimism in me is not commensurate to my growing mental capacity…basically it’s now just a big dirt oval beset by white-collar, republican strongholds of cities. No longer does it help me escape my own self-doubt. It no longer has the effect Wordsworth speaks of when traversing alpine slopes amidst streams and boulders “Flying from something he dreads [more] than one/ who sought the thing he loved.”
So now to my first point I rambled away from. How in the hell am I going to capture this sense of wonder again? Well, my recent backpacking trip showed me…only by finding bigger, greater, and inherently more dangerous “playgrounds.” I’m thinking tomorrow it might be Sequoia National Park…but by my mid-life crisis it might be the freakin’ Himalayas! This is potentially a bad thing; at least for my toes and fingers. It seems that now I am at the crossroads of becoming an adrenaline junkie or couch potato, but is there a middle ground? To me I really understand what the hell he meant when he spoke of his second outing to Tintern Abbey being somewhat of a downer compared to the visions that kept him going during his bleak sojourns in the cities.
I’m starting to understand this Adrenaline Junkie moniker, but at the same time I wonder if it is really the challenge of something bigger. Challenge, to me, implies that there is something to be beat or conquered, yet you can’t do that to this sublime awesomeness (I’m sure Wordsworth, Shelley and other romantics would agree with me) of Nature. To me it’s not about getting to the top so much as being at the mountain or the National Park and away from society, responsibilities, etc. Being outdoors is about good companionship. It’s about NOT forgetting our troubles, but readjusting our focus on our strengths so that we can acknowledge our faults and failures in stride. It’s about sharing the outdoors, and in that frame of mind my sense of optimism and self-worth get a good swift kick in the ass. They are rekindled and awake again for at least sometime after any trip, just like Wordsworth after realizing that his sister was feeling those same emotions he felt when he first saw the ruins of Tintern Abbey, even though it was no longer as potent for him on the second outing.
We need to immerse ourselves in these sublime playgrounds and respect their ability to kill us if we screw up or act too brashly. Being out there makes me feel like a lowly pedlar and levels the playing field. Everyone is equally helpless out there. Avalanches and altitude don’t commute their consequences for CEO’s, and don’t seek out revenge or even merited retribution on those who’ve done us ill. It’s all equally unstable and unpredictable. Pretty sweet huh?
So then I’m not an adrenaline junkie. Just a man trying to cope with my life and remind myself to move in another’s perspective if I can; to exercise that oft atrophied muscle of empathy. To make my “Memory be as a dwelling-place/ For all sweet sounds and harmonies […]/ If solitude, or fear, or pain, or grief/ Should be thy portion, with what healing thoughts/ Of tender joy wilt thou remember me,/ And these my exhortations!” We need to get others out too, and share our stories and our experiences since that’s all we have to hold as truth…not beauty (sorry Mr. Keats). It reminds me of another set of lines in “The Five-Book Prelude” when Wordsworth laments “Meanwhile old Grandam Earth is grieved to find/ The playthings which her love designed for him/ Unthought of […] Now this is hollow, ‘tis a life of lies.”
Get off the couch, your chair, this blog. Go for a walk somewhere without concrete even if it’s a sandbox.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Beginning to write again...slowly
Well. Here it is folks. Introduction to my first paper in two years. Feel free to criticize or praise.
The Essential Self in Augustine and Weldon
Thomas Hobbes’ famous definition of life as “nasty, brutish and short” (reader 37) seems a mere platitude today perhaps, but interestingly we have dropped off the first condition of the definition in our modern excerpt; that life is “solitary.” In direct response G.W.F. Hegel asserts that the self “exists only in being acknowledged” (reader 40). But perhaps there is a middle ground, or a way to balance these two disparate views. Within the literary tradition we examine numerous works of both literary extroverts participating in society and those of recluses who shun social contact in an attempt to communicate with the essential self. Authors ranging from Chaucer to Thoreau or distinctly modern naturalists such as John Muir have all offered parodies of social dynamics or shunned them in a more solitary, purportedly profound method of self observation.
While theorists like Erving Goffman and Hegel have posited that we create a social self either inadvertently, through cultural conditioning, or willingly within a larger social dynamic, it seems that there is a part of us, an essential self in opposition to the Hegelian concept, which is immutable regardless of social pressures or temptations. This essential self will, as Hegel pointed out, be forever changed at its first encounter with the “other,” but even if it should assault the other in the master-slave dialectic or simply through “fronts” of performance it remains unchanged in a fundamental way.
In Saint Augustine’s Confessions the life of a worldly man turned hermit is portrayed to inspire readers toward God, but Augustine often betrays his own hubris in his homilies to the reader. In Fay Weldon’s The Life and Loves of a She-Devil, Ruth alters her social self in order to attain the goals of her fixed, vengeful inner self. The dynamics of these two texts will be my basis to argue that there is an essential, immutable self that is immune to whatever “performances” we display, which are only used in order to bolster self-worth and achieve the goals of our essential self.
The Essential Self in Augustine and Weldon
Thomas Hobbes’ famous definition of life as “nasty, brutish and short” (reader 37) seems a mere platitude today perhaps, but interestingly we have dropped off the first condition of the definition in our modern excerpt; that life is “solitary.” In direct response G.W.F. Hegel asserts that the self “exists only in being acknowledged” (reader 40). But perhaps there is a middle ground, or a way to balance these two disparate views. Within the literary tradition we examine numerous works of both literary extroverts participating in society and those of recluses who shun social contact in an attempt to communicate with the essential self. Authors ranging from Chaucer to Thoreau or distinctly modern naturalists such as John Muir have all offered parodies of social dynamics or shunned them in a more solitary, purportedly profound method of self observation.
While theorists like Erving Goffman and Hegel have posited that we create a social self either inadvertently, through cultural conditioning, or willingly within a larger social dynamic, it seems that there is a part of us, an essential self in opposition to the Hegelian concept, which is immutable regardless of social pressures or temptations. This essential self will, as Hegel pointed out, be forever changed at its first encounter with the “other,” but even if it should assault the other in the master-slave dialectic or simply through “fronts” of performance it remains unchanged in a fundamental way.
In Saint Augustine’s Confessions the life of a worldly man turned hermit is portrayed to inspire readers toward God, but Augustine often betrays his own hubris in his homilies to the reader. In Fay Weldon’s The Life and Loves of a She-Devil, Ruth alters her social self in order to attain the goals of her fixed, vengeful inner self. The dynamics of these two texts will be my basis to argue that there is an essential, immutable self that is immune to whatever “performances” we display, which are only used in order to bolster self-worth and achieve the goals of our essential self.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Borders downsizing or, pop culture and its efficacy
Today I was in Borders hoping to find some ancillary material for an upcoming presentation on Hegel's master-slave dialectic in Phenomenology of Spirit.
After spending some time perusing other sections in my typical dilatory tangents in bookstores, I finally asked a sales associate "where is your philosophy section, namely covering the German Idealists (well I did not say the latter, but it would have been funny)?" She gave me a quizzical look and said, "we have a very small philosophy section"- sure enough small translated into a 4 foot by 7 foot rectangle beset on all sides by religion, sorcery, and astrology. Wow, hopefully locative context is not making a statement on the merit of the discipline!
Well I find some Kant, namely his most famous "Critiques," but no Hegel! Turns out that aside from some seminal works form Kant, Descartes, and Socrates there is nothing in this section but an amalgam of pop culture "x TV show and philosophy" books. I find "Star Wars and Philosophy," "Dune and Philosophy," and, my favorite (by that I mean least) "The Philosophy of Lost." I can't believe that a massive bookstore chain lacks stalwarts in the Philosophical field like Hegel, Kierkegaard (perhaps in religion?), or even (what I figured) iconoclast "rebel" philosophers like Nietzsche. Should I be worried that pop culture is slowly supplanting "high" literature and culture?
I need to step back for a minute and say what I should have prefaced this blog with: In my intro to grad studies course, we are examining the Canon (accepted list of literary works deemed "worth" teaching and "important") and how we select it. Often, the argument arises that we need to modernize the canon in order to engage increasingly disinterested students. Essentially, that it's the quality of the arguments that matter, not the topics.
I believe that we should modernize the canon and allow relevant conversation on modern issues, even celebrities and bands, if they result in good arguments. These should be ancillary discussions, however, and thus commensurate to their position among the classics. If "Harry Potter" is being taught exclusively instead of the Iliad, we are starting to have a problem. There is a certain amount of "mental rigor" that must be experienced in order to form us into a more empathetic, intelligent, and introspective being. Slugging through a "good" classic like "The Canterbury Tales" or "Beowulf," or even Book I (no I wouldn't do that to my students) of the "Faerie Queene," gives one an appreciation for historical culture and allows us to locate ourselves in our own time and culture. I believe in tough literature tempered with pop-culture to "keep it real," for a more holistic experience of the canon. What do you think?
After spending some time perusing other sections in my typical dilatory tangents in bookstores, I finally asked a sales associate "where is your philosophy section, namely covering the German Idealists (well I did not say the latter, but it would have been funny)?" She gave me a quizzical look and said, "we have a very small philosophy section"- sure enough small translated into a 4 foot by 7 foot rectangle beset on all sides by religion, sorcery, and astrology. Wow, hopefully locative context is not making a statement on the merit of the discipline!
Well I find some Kant, namely his most famous "Critiques," but no Hegel! Turns out that aside from some seminal works form Kant, Descartes, and Socrates there is nothing in this section but an amalgam of pop culture "x TV show and philosophy" books. I find "Star Wars and Philosophy," "Dune and Philosophy," and, my favorite (by that I mean least) "The Philosophy of Lost." I can't believe that a massive bookstore chain lacks stalwarts in the Philosophical field like Hegel, Kierkegaard (perhaps in religion?), or even (what I figured) iconoclast "rebel" philosophers like Nietzsche. Should I be worried that pop culture is slowly supplanting "high" literature and culture?
I need to step back for a minute and say what I should have prefaced this blog with: In my intro to grad studies course, we are examining the Canon (accepted list of literary works deemed "worth" teaching and "important") and how we select it. Often, the argument arises that we need to modernize the canon in order to engage increasingly disinterested students. Essentially, that it's the quality of the arguments that matter, not the topics.
I believe that we should modernize the canon and allow relevant conversation on modern issues, even celebrities and bands, if they result in good arguments. These should be ancillary discussions, however, and thus commensurate to their position among the classics. If "Harry Potter" is being taught exclusively instead of the Iliad, we are starting to have a problem. There is a certain amount of "mental rigor" that must be experienced in order to form us into a more empathetic, intelligent, and introspective being. Slugging through a "good" classic like "The Canterbury Tales" or "Beowulf," or even Book I (no I wouldn't do that to my students) of the "Faerie Queene," gives one an appreciation for historical culture and allows us to locate ourselves in our own time and culture. I believe in tough literature tempered with pop-culture to "keep it real," for a more holistic experience of the canon. What do you think?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
It’s Like an Infernal Christmas: CSU budget cuts, my Fall MA class schedule, and State Park closures…
I’ve been racking my brains attempting to find a subject “worthy” of my first blog attempt. Now, after having registered at blogspot nearly two weeks ago, I think our State’s financial woes are quite certainly apropos. The fact that our State has been sliding for years into a deeper debt-grave has never truly caused me to experience more than a modicum of anxiety until now; both the closures of our State Parks and our “leaned out” CSU class schedule have me waiting nervously like a kid waiting for gifts on Christmas Eve, only this is an Infernal Christmas bringing even less opportunities for continuing education in the classroom and fewer opportunities for self-exploration in a natural environment which is shrinking just as rapidly as University funding.
I made a wish list for my graduate schedule perhaps the day after the Fall 2009 schedule was posted. Considering the title, I realized that the list was tentative with a capital “T” and, even further, was planned when I had different sentiments on my first semester course load (common’ now, I’ve been out of academia for close to two years, I need to acclimatize!). I expected my official schedule would vary greatly from the list. I expected to anxiously log on each day before my reg date to see what classes had filled up and thrown a wrench in my master plan. I never expected to find it wiped clean with the equivalent of a 3M “post-it” note of an email explaining that the University needed to tighten its belt. Those ominous Economy headlines in the equally foundering local newspaper were suddenly palpable.
In the aforementioned newspaper, the local outdoors column was replaced one morning with clarion headlines singing the end of many State Parks and severely abridged funding for far more. When I read Chino Hills was slated to be “mothballed” it was a blow to the young boy inside of me who found many summer days well spent wandering its trails. While the park is officially “closed” it will still be nearly effortless to “trespass” by jumping the fence. But how many people who don’t have disposable income will be deprived of a cheap, family-oriented day outing to Chino, or even Crystal Cove State Park? All demographics will feel these closures; from executive weekend warriors on $8,000 full-suspension carbon fiber Specialized bikes to families who can’t afford a vacation to Disneyland.
I don’t want to “muckrake” here, but the solution to our financial crisis is so monumental and multifaceted that attempting to consider and analyze the myriad arguments would turn this blog into a tome. What I can say succinctly is that if you care about our State Parks then join us in petitioning to keep them open. Check out www.calparks.org/takeaction. There are also several flyers from different organizations at most of the popular trailheads in Chino. The educational shortfall is even more daunting and, sadly, all that comes to mind is what my father always tells me: “everyone lauds education but no one wants to pay for it.” I’m optimistic that when I register on July 15th I can secure my two classes. I only hope after we lower our heads and take these deficit “hits” in the body we can remember it in the future. Wow, that’s lamely idealistic, but it’s all I’ve got!
If no action is taken, start looking for it to go down on July 1st as some 220 State Parks either close or see immediate cessation of all State funding, and all to shave off only 1/10 of 1 percent of the state budget (from www.calparks.org/takeaction). With the short amount of time before the fiscal new year and the current economy, I believe I’ll just have to become accustomed to watch out for vagrant shanty towns when I’m coming around the bend at 30 on the mountain bike and worry about unabated brush growth ready to burn next fire season. But hey, at least I’ll get an upper body workout when I lift my bike over the fence!
I made a wish list for my graduate schedule perhaps the day after the Fall 2009 schedule was posted. Considering the title, I realized that the list was tentative with a capital “T” and, even further, was planned when I had different sentiments on my first semester course load (common’ now, I’ve been out of academia for close to two years, I need to acclimatize!). I expected my official schedule would vary greatly from the list. I expected to anxiously log on each day before my reg date to see what classes had filled up and thrown a wrench in my master plan. I never expected to find it wiped clean with the equivalent of a 3M “post-it” note of an email explaining that the University needed to tighten its belt. Those ominous Economy headlines in the equally foundering local newspaper were suddenly palpable.
In the aforementioned newspaper, the local outdoors column was replaced one morning with clarion headlines singing the end of many State Parks and severely abridged funding for far more. When I read Chino Hills was slated to be “mothballed” it was a blow to the young boy inside of me who found many summer days well spent wandering its trails. While the park is officially “closed” it will still be nearly effortless to “trespass” by jumping the fence. But how many people who don’t have disposable income will be deprived of a cheap, family-oriented day outing to Chino, or even Crystal Cove State Park? All demographics will feel these closures; from executive weekend warriors on $8,000 full-suspension carbon fiber Specialized bikes to families who can’t afford a vacation to Disneyland.
I don’t want to “muckrake” here, but the solution to our financial crisis is so monumental and multifaceted that attempting to consider and analyze the myriad arguments would turn this blog into a tome. What I can say succinctly is that if you care about our State Parks then join us in petitioning to keep them open. Check out www.calparks.org/takeaction. There are also several flyers from different organizations at most of the popular trailheads in Chino. The educational shortfall is even more daunting and, sadly, all that comes to mind is what my father always tells me: “everyone lauds education but no one wants to pay for it.” I’m optimistic that when I register on July 15th I can secure my two classes. I only hope after we lower our heads and take these deficit “hits” in the body we can remember it in the future. Wow, that’s lamely idealistic, but it’s all I’ve got!
If no action is taken, start looking for it to go down on July 1st as some 220 State Parks either close or see immediate cessation of all State funding, and all to shave off only 1/10 of 1 percent of the state budget (from www.calparks.org/takeaction). With the short amount of time before the fiscal new year and the current economy, I believe I’ll just have to become accustomed to watch out for vagrant shanty towns when I’m coming around the bend at 30 on the mountain bike and worry about unabated brush growth ready to burn next fire season. But hey, at least I’ll get an upper body workout when I lift my bike over the fence!
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